Archive for March, 2010

5 Random Thoughts

March 29, 2010

Since it’s been a while since my last post, I thought I’d share with you some of the things that have been on my mind lately:

1. Health

Blame it on the Aquavit.  At my last book club meeting, our host treated us to certain traditional Swedish beverages, in honor of the book we were reading, Stieg Larsson’s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.  Between the Aquavit, the sangria, the cheesy lasagna and other goodies, I left the meeting intoxicated and bloated — and was sick as a dog the next day.  This wasn’t a hungover kind of sick.  This was an acid-refluxy, can’t lie down, burning chest please-make-it-stop kind of sick.  I made the mistake of going on webMD and had soon convinced myself I was dying of esophageal cancer.  Completely freaked out, I quickly made an appointment with my gastroenterologist.

In the meantime, I put myself on a strict vegan, gluten-free diet and eliminated both alcohol and my favorite beverage, coffee.  The awful acid reflux symptoms subsided, which gave me some comfort that my webMD self-diagnosis was probably a bit off.  Still, I couldn’t wait for that appointment.

Turns out I don’t have GERD, or esophageal cancer.  I am on a 60-day course of Nexium, with the full expectation that all will be well in a couple of months.  Thanks to the vegan diet, I’ve lost most of the extra weight I picked up after my mom passed last August.  I’ve allowed coffee and alcohol back into my life in moderation, although “moderation” means something entirely different now than it used to.  But there’s nothing like a health scare to make you value the life you have.


My son was recently diagnosed with ADHD.  He underwent the testing during my posting hiatus.  I haven’t fully processed what this means yet.  The diagnosis and report have helped me understand his behavior and the way he does and does not process information.  Beyond that, I have no real thoughts about it yet.  I am meeting with professionals this week to help understand our options.  I know I’m at the beginning of a long and interesting journey.  In the meantime, I’m just enjoying having a kid who has practically memorized several texts on Greek mythology and who now wants to do a comparative analysis with the Bible.  I’m sure I’ll have more to say about this in future posts.

3. Erykah Badu’s “Window Seat” video

Confession: I’m not an Erykah Badu fan.  I liked “Bag Lady” and “Tyrone.”  I can’t name one of her albums.  I understand she speaks to a lot of women, just as India.Arie does, but I find her as affected as that stupid dot between India.Arie’s first and second names.  People are raving about this video.  If you like it, good for you.  To me, it’s derivative and unoriginal.  Fiona Apple and Alanis Morrisette did nudity in videos better.

4. African Diaspora Film Festival’s “Black Motherhood and Society” Film Series

On March 28, I had the pleasure of being on a panel discussing “Black Motherhood and Society” at ADFF’s Black Motherhood and Society Film Series.  Great discussion, terrific audience participation, and wonderful panelists.  I’ve done a decent amount of public speaking on law and the legal profession, but this was the first time I branched out and spoke on a topic related to my personal writings.  I really enjoyed it and look forward to taking advantage of future public speaking opportunities.

5.  Seriously?

I often find myself trying to discern what image I project to the world, and how that image jibes with my own self-image.  I can’t say I’ve quite figured it out.  There does seem to be a disconnect between the image I have of myself and the image I project to the world at large.  Some of that is purposeful.  At work, I’m generally pretty serious.  In negotiations, I often play the role of the tough-but-fair lawyer.  But I also have a silly side, one that people who know only the serious Carolyn tend not to expect.  One of my goals is to project a more complete picture of who I am to the world, instead of using Serious Carolyn as a shield to ward people off.

A more complete post will be coming soon.  In the meantime, your thoughts on any or all of the above are welcome.