My First Haters


I’ve always been opinionated, and I’m not shy about expressing my opinions, whether in a real-life discussion or on my blog.  I suppose it was inevitable, therefore, that some of my posts would rub some people the wrong way.

That doesn’t bother me.  I’m all for spirited debate.  Except . . . I haven’t gotten any.

It seems some of the people who disliked my posts, in particular the one about men, or the one about celebrity divorce settlements, chose not to post comments on my blog.  They also chose not to debate me on Twitter or Facebook, where I usually post my newest blog posts.

What they did choose to do was make cowardly ad hominem attacks on Twitter.

I’ve gotten one or two “you’re divorced, right? figures” comments on this blog.  I haven’t thought much of them.  What exactly does it figure?  Figures that I, a divorced woman, would be interested in the subject of divorce? 

Or does it “figure” that I’m divorced because I’m a bitter, unlovable hag, as evidenced by my writing and my opinions?

Apparently I’m supposed to believe the latter.

Sorry, but no.  Anyone else who wants to believe that about me, believe away.  And feel free to believe, based on a few blog posts and tweets, that you know all you need to know about my marriage and my divorce.  As long as I write about divorce and custody issues, I guess it’s understandable that people would try to construct a story about my own divorce.  Until and unless I choose to publish my divorce story, good luck with that.

I’m just disappointed that the people in question chose to resort to personal attacks, instead of making rational counter-arguments to the positions with which they disagreed. 

In the end, though, I’m pleased that people are reading and reacting to what I write.  Thanks to everyone who visits my blog and read my posts.  Whether you agree or disagree, I appreciate your readership. 

I do not, however, tolerate personal attacks, on me or any of my commenters.  As long as you keep it respectful, debate away.


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6 Responses to “My First Haters”

  1. JDanielle Says:

    Unfortunately, women, especially black women, could walk around smiling incessantly and handing out a cupcake to each passerby and they’d still be accused of being bitter the minute they expressed a strong opinion that wasn’t popular with a certain type of man. All you can do is what you’re doing–expressing your opinion thoughtfully and confidently. Those aren’t the types of people you want to talk to anyway. Let them keep reading, hopefully they will learn something!

  2. inkognegro Says:

    *Sets up his folding chair*

    *plants his “teamCarolyn” flag*

    Sits down to read memeorandum

    Co-sign btw.

  3. Mark R Says:

    Ad hominem attacks on Twitter? I’m afraid that is to be expected. Twitter is designed to be a mono-directional communication vehicle, not a channel for dialogue or discourse. Those who use Twitter are in love with the sound of their OWN voice, not yours. Twitter is also the (appropriate) forum for those individuals whose ability to articulate a coherent thought is never challenged by more than 147 characters.

    Thank you for your blog posts and thank you for insisting on a standard of civility in discourse. I will do my best to abide, but I cannot make promises for my brethren.

  4. Gene A. Johnson, Jr. Says:

    Greetings Sis:

    Once you make yourself public expect to be attacked in every way possible, that is the price.

    No need to dwell on them and let them distract you from your course of action (e.g. devoting a blog post to ignorance).

    Peace, love and encouragement.


  5. return2thesource Says:

    At least you get ad hominem attacks and third person commentary. For some reason I just get blocked and that’s from women and men! LOL!

    Anyway, Carolyn, you must be doing something right with the writing. Good writing promotes reactions from people, so as Gene says above, focus on the writing and don’t let the haters distract you.

    I like the Jill Scott choice by the way. She has lots of haters and still keeps doing Jill!

  6. DD Says:

    As someone that is currently in the midst of a divorce, I find your writing to be intellectual, well balanced and with a touch of personal experience which I like. I admire your confidence and hope you will continue to share your opinions.

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